Ghosts Of The Past
I’m preparing for a trip to Washington DC and it’s stirring memories of the past. Sometimes I think the pre-trip planning is as much fun as the actual trip. It’s been well over thirty years since I’ve been there—the last time was back in 1991.
There's twenty year old me in my Z Cavaricci jeans standing in The National Mall at night, sunburnt and smiling after a full day of sightseeing with my, then, girlfriend. Back then the list of things I was blissfully naive about was probably a mile long. My hairline was lower, and my arms free of tattoos. The future seemed thousands of miles away and wide-open. Neither of us had any concrete ideas of what we wanted out of life. Even back then I knew I wanted to write but didn't have the faintest clue how I was going to make it happen. She had begun talking about, maybe, wanting to go to school to be a flight attendant but was undecided.
My ex had relatives who owned a house on the ocean in Maryland and we stayed with them for a few days and drove her tiny 1986 Chevy Cavalier down to DC for the day. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have left from that trip but I still have plenty of memories. I remember standing on her relative's deck high atop a hill over a bay and spotting dozens of stingrays swimming. Her family was lovely, so welcoming and generous to open up their home to us.
Her and I traveled—alot. Spring Break in Florida multiple times, all over Ohio, a trip to New York City, Maryland, DC. Those early travel experiences opened me up to the delights of it all and I often wonder if I would have ended up enjoying and having the courage to travel internationally as much as I have later in life without those experiences. Probably not.
It would be four more years before I would even take my first flight. We drove everywhere. This was pre-internet, before navigation, mobile phones, cigarette smoke was still in the air pretty much everywhere. Back then, there was no travel planning for us. We were spontaneous, lived in the moment, and just assumed it would all work out—sometimes it did, other times it didn't.
Fast forward thirty-five years, and I do mean fast forward because it's gone by in a blink, and here I am planning to return.
The world has changed so much since 1991. At fifty-five, and now with well over a hundred thousand miles of traveling under my belt, I see the value of planning. There's so much joy to be found in the daydreaming and the anticipation. Maybe it's because after this much sand has passed through our hour glass we value time a whole lot more. The present day me wants to wring as much as I can out of each trip and each year I have left.
Building a good travel itinerary at this age is a lot like crafting a recipe. It's important to keep the proper balance—to leave nooks a crannies in the itinerary to allow the spontaneity to bubble up and seep through. This, in my experience, is where the magic lives and the great memories tend to arise from.
So for now I'm off to fine-tune the plan. To see how many more herbs and spices I can work into the recipe. It might even be fun to find that exact spot on The National Mall that photo was taken in 1991 and try to recreate it but there's not much wisdom in revisiting the ghosts of the past for very long, especially when that ghost is us.
If I'm lucky, maybe in thirty years time I'll look back on the photos of this next trip to DC with the same kind of nostalgia and fond memories. That's weird to even think about but I know the years will fly by in a blink. For now, I'm just going to try my absolute best to enjoy the present.
All for now. Make this a wonderful day.
Announcing My New Book!
Walking with the Muse is out now—a collection of short stories more than thirty years in the making.
Thank you for following along these last few weeks. Hive has been the incubator of so many of the stories contained in this collection. May these pages bring you the same joy they’ve brought me.
Get your copy: Link to purchase Walking With the Muse on Amazon.
If you pick up my book, buying it directly from Amazon is one of the most helpful things you can do. Amazon only allows reviews from verified buyers, and those reviews help other readers find the book.
Read A Sample Here.
As always, thanks so much for your support! Now, for a much-needed weekend break. I hope you enjoy yours!
SUNDAY MEDITATION SERIES (#7) - The Humility of Impermanence
"Turn it inside out and see what it is like-what it becomes like when old, sick, or prostituting itself. How short-lived the praiser and praised, the one who remembers and the remembered. Remembered in some corner of these parts, and even there not in the same way by all, or even by one. And the whole earth is but a mere speck." —MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.21
In my five decades on this planet I’ve lived long enough to sample a good variety of the experiences life has to offer—wins/losses, frailty/strength, euphoria/despair, loyalty/betrayal, and both good/bad fortune. These dualities of life are the best teachers because if we take our egos out of the equation and absorb the lessons they provide us with greater overall perspective and humility.
Everything in our physical world is temporary—I’m not just talking about the hard times, sickness, and challenges but also things like attractiveness, fame, and reputation. It’s just as important not to allow yourself to be seduced by praise of *success* and *greatness* as it is to not allow yourself to be broken by life’s hardships.
A lot of people think time automatically imparts wisdom but, as I’ve aged, I’ve learned this couldn’t be further from the truth. There are as many unwise seniors as there are unwise young adults. It’s all about how open we are to life’s lessons and the level of our humility.
We humans misunderstand so much of what we experience but sometimes it’s possible for deep truths to seep through the many imperfections of our senses and emotions directly into our consciousness. If we live from a place of humility, learning the important lessons can become easier as we age.
Longing for the experiences of yesterday do nothing but make us miss out on the experiences of today. It's best to be grateful for *what was* and open ourselves up to the new gifts of *today*. We must find ways to ground ourselves, to extract the most enjoyment we can in every phase of life but not become too attached to the permanency of the phases and experiences we pass through in our inner or outer world.
I try to think of my life as a film that, ultimately, someone else is directing. As actors we do have some freedom to change some things like our lines or our actions in a particular scene but many things are outside our realm of control.
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages" - William Shakespeare
It's so easy to recognize the wisdom in these lines from Shakespeare's play, "As You Like It". Time is, indeed, fleeting but if we live with humility and proper perspective life is more than long enough.
For the coming week, set a notification on your mobile device for once during the morning and once in the afternoon yourself or write it on a slip of paper and tape it to your bathroom mirror.
Nothing I experience today —either good or bad, is permanent.
This will serve as a daily reminder throughout the next week to ground yourself in a place of greater humility.
~Eric Vance Walton~
Be well, make the most of this day. Thank you for reading!
If you're interested in learning to meditate, please take a look at my book, The Perfect Pause.